When I wrote a previous post on decluttering sentimental items, I hadn’t considered it in regard to the passing of a loved one, and I wanted to write a dedicated blog to provide some gentle guidance on this topic.
I haven’t personally decluttered a loved one’s possessions after they have passed, so I had a conversation with my mom to get a better understanding of her perspective and experience.
My grandpa passed away about 15 years ago, and a little while after his passing, my grandma decided to move out of their home and into a smaller space that was easier for her to maintain. My mom and aunt helped her declutter, pack up the entire house, and prepare her for the move.
This blog is a culmination of that conversation as well as some of my own thoughts on decluttering added to it.
A Few Thoughts on Grief
Before we begin discussing the decluttering portion of this blog, I want to recognize that every situation is different and that many people walk through grief very differently. There’s not one right way to do things, so I hope that you can find whatever is helpful for you in these words.
Grief can also be very isolating. While some people need to spend time alone to work through portions of their grief, I hope you can find people (family, friends, neighbours, or people in your community) to come alongside you, and give you the support you need during this time.
Where To Begin
No matter what the situation is or why you’re decluttering, I would recommend starting with the least sentimental areas. Examples include bathrooms, spare rooms, or the kitchen—any space you don’t have strong emotions tied to is the best place to start.
Here’s why.
Many of the items in these spaces will simply need to be thrown away, donated, or packed away for practical use—by starting the decluttering process with non-emotional decisions, you can warm up your decluttering and decision-making muscles for what may be tougher decisions later.
Remember to have the right tools and avoid making piles—following the No Mess Method is a great way to do so!
Have boxes or bags for donations ready (and a car ready to take them away). If you or the people you are decluttering with might want to keep a few sentimental items, get them to bring a box or put these items directly into their vehicles.
Follow this general process to work through these spaces:
- Throw out any items that you can immediately identify as garbage
- Go through each drawer, cupboard, or space and sort items into trash, donate, or keep
Tip: If you have items you are unsure about, put them in a “Maybe Box” until you’ve finished sorting that room. This box must be emptied once you are finished with a room or category (i.e., bathrooms) to ensure it works properly.
Once you’ve tackled the easy spaces, how do you deal with the difficult ones?
Decluttering Difficult Spaces
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed while dealing with these spaces—there are often many memories and emotions associated with the items.
It can be helpful to consider a few things before getting into the actual decluttering:
- Do you have a certain number or type of items you want to keep?
- How much storage space do you have or will you want to allocate to these items?
- Which items are the most special or hold the best memories?
For my mom, grandma, and aunt, some of the more difficult spaces were the garage, storage room, my grandpa’s workshop, and his closet. They were the most difficult because they either were packed with a random assortment of items or full of sentimental things.
I loved a piece of advice my mom shared, “Don’t just start in a corner of a room; it’s too easy to get overwhelmed or lost in the task.” It’s easier to work through a difficult space in categories!
I’ll give an example below to illustrate cleaning out a bedroom:
- Start by removing any garbage or items you know you can immediately throw out
- If there are any items that obviously belong in another room (i.e., cups or dishes), return them to that room or make an immediate decision about them (i.e., keep, donate, or throw away)
- Take a quick pass for obvious sentimental items you absolutely know you want to keep (Tip: spend only 2 minutes on this task! This is meant to be gut decisions only—if you find yourself staring at an item and waffling, just wait and come back to it)
- Sort items into categories: in a bedroom, this might include books, clothing, decor, bedding, photos, etc.
- Start with the most practical categories first (i.e., bedding). Decide what to keep, donate, or throw away.
- Work your way through the categories from least sentimental to most sentimental
As you get to the most sentimental categories, remember two things:
- It can be healing to keep a few special items with good memories of the person attached to them
- BUT keeping or letting go of items doesn’t mean you let go of the memories or your love for that person.
Choosing the Right Help
Before getting into this section, I want to acknowledge again that every situation is different. Some people may find that having many people help makes the work go faster and is easier for them, while others may prefer having fewer people who are just immediate family to help.
Be cognizant of what YOU need (or respectful of someone else’s wishes).
Remember to delegate what you can and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it!
Take Breaks
This type of decluttering is both emotionally and physically exhausting.
Remember to take breaks and gauge how much strength you have for each session. People have different decluttering burnout rates, so be aware of your companions and know that they may tire at different rates than you.
Do you have questions about decluttering specific items or rooms? I’d love to hear them!
Little Minimalist on the Prairies 